mothers-rule-of-life

Welcome to week 3 of the Mother’s Rule of Life online book study.  If you’ve missed previous weeks, you can find those here.   I also posted a copy of the Prayer Book I made as part of my work for last week.  This week, we will be reading Chapter 4 – The Second P: Person.

I have to say, I don’t feel that I struggle here so much.  Because I worked full time the entire time I was in college (mostly full time), I have a good feel for what I minimally need to do to function.   That’s not to say that I do all I need to do.   I never have, actually.  There are things that I need to resume/start doing with regards to taking care of me.

I never considered concupiscence as being the cause of my lack of initiative.   It makes perfect sense now, that I choose the ho-ho’s when an apple is a better option   It doesn’t FEEL as good.  Concupiscence causes your ability to reason to be damaged and grasping truth becomes difficult.  The healthier I become spiritually, I see where it becomes slightly easier to do what I need to do.

This is another heavily introspective week.   What are the essentials to functioning?   Follow her questions on page 71-73 to consider things like sleep, hygiene, exercise, socializing and your heart.  If you are using the optional workbook, read through the corresponding pages for additional help/direction.

For Discussion

How to you feel about a Mother’s Sabbath?   What about getting a spiritual director?  Do you do either?  How has it affected your life?  What are your spiritual or physical personal essentials?   Again, feel free to include your children, ages, etc. to help other women find kindred spirits :).

Next week, we will be discussing the Third P: Partner.

9 Comments on MROL Book Study – Week 3

  1. Amanda
    1 February 2010 at 7:36 PM (8 years ago)

    Chiming in late because of our own recent move and trying to catch up. I think the concept of a mother’s sabbath is very person and situation specific. I don’t think leaving for a whole day (or even more than a couple hours) would work well for our situation but I can see how it could when the kiddos get older. My DD is 10 months and she still nurses quite a bit so leaving her all day is not an option. I have recently talked to my DH about leaving for an hour or two once a month, however, and he was receptive to the idea so we might start that in March sometime (after he is done with the BAR exam). I think it really depends on the kind of person you are also. I tend to be a pretty introverted person so time alone is very recharging for me and I often find being around a lot of people (or the demands of one very small but needy person) to be draining. An hour or two alone does wonders for my energy level and ability to cope. Currently I address this area of my life by getting up 1 1/2 to 2 hours before everyone else, say my morning offering and then just knit/blog/plan or whatever until the baby needs to nurse or hubby wakes up. It isn’t ideal and I get interrupted a lot but it definitely helps.
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..MROL book study week 4 =-.

    [Reply]

  2. allison
    24 January 2010 at 3:28 PM (8 years ago)

    I just finished this chapter–a bit behind, but catching up. I do get plenty of time to myself now that my oldest children (2 girls) can BBsit. Weight Watchers meetings give me support and alone time (I’m a leader, but attendng as a member with 3 week old Baby now.) Also I get a lot of motivation to eat well and exercise–I’ll do anything for a sticker! HAHAHA!

    I go to a catholic homeschooling group one evening a month. It is a very prayerful group, and very rejuvinating for me. Also, I’m part of a Catholic Women’s study group that meets 2 nights a month. I just found out about womens pick-up basket ball that happens once a week , the same nights as my Homeschool group/study group. Still have to talk to DH about that, but if he can deal with letting me leave about 1 1/2 hrs earlier, I can get some fun and exercise in there too!

    I nurse also, all this stuff happens with newborn in towe–till he’s 1 year or more, then I’d be OK leaving him for up to 2 hours.

    Exercise–netflix play it now videos have saved my life. Trying to get a hand me down tred mill into my office! Winter in Maine is a hard time for exercise unless you have the expensive winter gear. . .exercising inside keeps me close to the kiddo’s.

    I do plan a weeks worth of meals and snacks over the wekend–to be honest Ikind of stopped this after our move in November–but with a new baby and homeschooling beginning again this week I have gotten back to it!

    I do flylady–and do live by her dressed to shoes and face every day. It really help me get the day going well for all of us. I’ll exercise either in the morning or in the evening–sometime during afternoon naps.

    [Reply]

  3. Catherine B.
    23 January 2010 at 10:51 PM (8 years ago)

    Hi. I’ve been with the book study from the beginning, but this is my first comment.
    I don’t have a spiritual advisor at the moment but I have been thinking about it. One of the obstacles in the way (besides finding time away from my three boys, 5, 2, and 9 months) is I don’t know how to talk about myself that much. Maybe I don’t study my prayer habits enough to know where I am at with my spirituality; perhaps an advisor would help me in that area.
    As far as a Mothers Sabbath is concerned I think I a whole day away (especially with little one) is a little bit too much for the family. Also, I don’t think Holly was a nursing mother if she was able to be away for that long. My children rely on me and to not know where i am or when I will be home would be pretty hard. I do think an evening or afternoon alone (or better yet, with my husband) is needed every once and awhile. I find a quite hour at adoration very rejuvenating, plus you hit two birds with one stone; quite alone time and prayer!
    I know this is a book about mothers and wives, but does anybody else notice a lack of respect for the role that her husband plays in the family? She “told” her husband that she was going to have a “Sabbath”? What about discussing it and praying about it together? The way she wrote left me to believe that her husband basically had to “put up with it” and cope. I know sometimes husband have to learn by just doing, but how about easing him into it first? Every father should know how to take care of his children (especially in case of emergencies) but it seems like she gave him no choice. Maybe she’ll better explain herself in the next chapter; Partner.
    That said I am enjoying this book and am looking forward to the next chapters especially about maintaining an organized house and schedules.
    God Bless!

    [Reply]

    jen Reply:

    i agree. A full-day mother’s sabbath with little ones is quite difficult and for the first year, I don’t think I would have done it at all. Like you, I nursed. Still do :). Now she is 2 and a full day is much easier to do.

    I completely see your point about lack of respect for her husband. I do, however, wonder if her husband respected HER 24/7 job. I can totally see where she would need a break with 6 older children, all homeschooled. It doesn’t sound as if she spent time “out with the girls” and it sounds like her sabbath was used for planning, adoration, confession, etc. I can see where that would be needed. Just playing devil’s advocate :). I think that it really probably depends on each person’s situation, schedule and family.

    Thanks so much for commenting and joining us!

    [Reply]

  4. Meagan M
    17 January 2010 at 10:59 PM (8 years ago)

    How do I feel about a “Mother’s Sabbath”? I have received some wisdom and insight on this particular idea from my older good catholic mommy friends who have said “NO!” I have participated in mom’s night outs, even coordinated them before and honestly, I should have been home. In my home, evenings are a critical time…thats dinner, baths, stories, rosary…thats family time and bedtime and thats NOT my hubby’s job. Saturdays are family days and Sunday is the Lord’s day. So when I need girl time, which is my mommy time, I do it after bedtime. Recently, a catholic mommy girlfriend and I have gone on a couple of late night shopping trips together and it has been a blast! Kids and hubby were asleep, chores were done, and it worked out sleep wise that I could afford to be up late. We joked, talked, sang stupid songs as we shopped and swapped planning ideas- loved it!

    I have a lot of friends I like to spend some form of time with, whether is through playdates, family get togethers, or texting/phone calls, I attempt to carve out time for them and at the same time I, being an extrovert, am enjoying the company and my kids are as well. My parish does a potluck party for EVERYTHING so we have family community that gives me time to unplug from home and plug into community, still making sure my family is nurtured but getting nurtured as well.

    My husband and I go on dates twice a month. We have five kiddos, oldest is a 6 yr old girl, the rest are boys- 4, 3, 2, 3mo. So twice a month kid free is all any of us can handle. My husband doesn’t have guy time or “daddy sabbath” and he works as hard as me.

    We schedule dates with our kids individually (the boys call it “guy time” with dad, and a date with mom) so that we can get a break from the house and do some one on one with each of our darlings. date usually includes adoration or mass and something kid directed…like “what do YOU want to do Johnny?” We keep it cheap and creative, like slowly walking through the pet store sharing a smoothie, riding the escalator at the mall over and over and then getting an ice cream cone, throwing rocks into the pond at the duck pond, reading a story together at the bookstore over coffee and a hot chocolate. Its beautiful.

    As for a spiritual director, I do have one. I started in direction in October of ’07. I have a strong opinion that this should NOT be a lay person. It should be a religious, preferably a priest. I have done direction with one lay person and 2 priests. The priest I’m with now is the one for me for sure. We meet once a month and this month my husband went with me so we could do some couples direction…all very good stuff! Make sure its a very orthodox priest who speaks the truth according to holy mother church, not just one who will speak what you want to hear…especially if there are family planning issues. Introduction to Devout Life by St Francis De Sales is a great launching pad in discerning a spiritual director. The bad spiritual direction I received was devastating, but the good has been outstanding and healing.

    My personal essentials include GRACE filled moments, hygiene, food, caffeine, sleep, laughter, community, affection, conversation and music. At some point, excercise and diet should be in there as well. Not there yet.

    [Reply]

    jen Reply:

    Interesting about the “sabbath”. Was your mentor against a mommy fun day? Or just time away from home in general? How do you make time to plan your month (schedules, menu’s, activities, etc.)? Good advice on the spiritual direction, too. Thanks for sharing!

    [Reply]

    Meagan M Reply:

    Being away from home in general…scheduling happens after dinner with my hubby at the table while kiddos play.

    [Reply]

1Pingbacks & Trackbacks on MROL Book Study – Week 3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *






CommentLuv badge